


Essence and Substance

by ColdFront



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack, F/F, Yogurt Soulmate AU, Yogurtverse, wtf even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:24:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23745859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdFront/pseuds/ColdFront
Summary: In a world where the taste of yogurt emitted during sex signifies one's soulmate, what happens when Yuzu's soulmate isn't who she thought it would be?
Relationships: Aihara Mei/Aihara Yuzu
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	Essence and Substance

**Author's Note:**

> This came out of an extremely silly conversation on a Discord server, regarding overly-literal interpretations of the term "yogurt slinger."
> 
> I do not recommend it. Aside from being ridiculous and in poor taste, it is the worst fic I have written.
> 
> I warned you.

Our sex ed class at Aihara Academy was never in-depth. Mostly, they said "don't." They did tell us one thing that stuck out to me, though. You weren't supposed to expect flavor from your first partner, or your second. Only romantics thought the first guy - or girl - they slept with would be their One True Destined Love. Some people never found theirs. Some companies made sex-safe yogurt in a thousand different flavors that matched Essence down to the chemical level.

From the day I met Mei, I wondered what she would taste like. I knew it wouldn't be the bland, unflavored Substance of most casual encounters; it would be the Essence of true love. Probably a complex flavor - dark chocolate, maybe, or cinnamon and nutmeg.

And when I finally sank my tongue into her folds, and tasted her Substance for the first time a moment after she tasted mine, some part of me felt the world ending around me.

* * *

I woke up to find Mei looking into my eyes, tousled hair framing her beautiful purple eyes. "Good Morning, Yuzu," she said gently, and ran her fingers gently through my hair. Her touch was soft, wonderful, beautiful, and for a moment I could believe everything was still the way it had been, that we still had whole future ahead of us, that I was in bed with my soulmate. "I love you," she whispered, and I forced my eyes shut against the flood of hot, guilty tears. "What's wrong?" Mei asked urgently, shifting closer and wrapping her arms around me tightly. "Was what we did last night okay?"

"I wanted that so much," I said softly, looking at Mei's beautiful neck so I didn't have to meet her eyes. "But-" I pulled away and stared at the ceiling, trying to find the strength to say it.

Mei figured it out first. "It was just Substance."

"Yeah."

The warmth Mei had woken up with faded from her face, replaced with... hurt? Shame? Yuzu couldn't quite identify it, but it didn't seem good. "I'm sorry to have wasted your time, Yuzu. We should get ready for school." She drew away from me, stood up, and started getting dressed.

"Wait, Mei, we should talk about this."

She glanced back at me, and I could have sworn I saw tears in her eyes. "There's really nothing to talk about."

* * *

She made it clear that she wanted to go to school alone, and I let her. It had taken a while, but I had eventually learned it wasn't a great idea to try to make Mei talk about something she wasn't ready to talk about. For that matter, I wasn't sure I was ready to talk about it either. Everything I thought I knew about our future together had been torn away from me with one quick moment.

_Maybe it was a mistake_, I thought as I walked to school. _Maybe I'm getting sick and my sense of taste is off. Maybe I just didn't get enough to taste it right._

_Maybe I'm a fucking idiot trying to hold on to something I know I've already lost._

Tears were streaming down my face by the time I arrived at school, and I was attracting a mix of pitying and condescending looks when I stumbled into homeroom. I had barely passed the doorway when I felt Harumin's warm, comforting arms around me, and her reassuring voice in my ears, and I held on to her for dear life.

* * *

"So like... it wasn't anything? Not even a hint of Essence?" Harumin asked. We were sitting outside together instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria; it was pretty obvious this would be a conversation that needed a certain level of privacy.

"Nope." I shook my head. "Exactly like unflavored yogurt. I wanted there to be something there. I knew - I fucking _knew_ \- that it would be there." I took a deep breath, and squeezed Harumin's hand. "From the day she first kissed me I knew it. And then it turned out I was wrong all along."

"I'm so sorry, Yuzucchi," Harumin said. "You know, a lot of couples aren't soulmates."

"But I wanted it. More than anything." I buried my head in my hands. "I thought today would be the first day of our life really, truly together. Instead she's barely even talking to me. I just want to go back..."

Harumin seemed lost in thought. "Hey... do you know if she tasted you?"

"Yeah. But she didn't say anything about it. She seemed so happy until I told her, and then she just shut down. She did the Mei conversation lightswitch thing she does and walked away."

"Maybe you should talk to her about what happened." She kissed my forehead, and looked me straight in the eye. "Yuzucchi, do me a favor. Remember why you love Mei. I've been watching how much you've wanted her for two years, and I don't think it has anything to do with her yogurt."

* * *

I forced myself to calm down for the rest of the day, first in classes and then as I waited for Mei's Student Council meeting to end. I don't think I absorbed much from my classes, but at least I wasn't a sobbing wreck. I was able to sit, listen, and sometimes answer questions. It was enough, under the circumstances, and at least nobody was looking at me like I had some new and contagious disease anymore. My mind still wandered, though.

In movies, the love interests were always soulmates to each other - a full bond - but halfbond relationships also happened sometimes. I knew my mom was my adopted dad's soulmate - but not the other way around. It wasn't like it was even that unusual. That didn't stop it from hurting, though, from burning through my heart and leaving me feeling empty and lost every time the thought crossed my mind.

Part of me deeply, desperately wanted a halfbond. It would be better than nothing - a foundation we could use to build a life together. The other part of me was scared to hope. It would be easier to just let Mei go. She would always be my sister, even if we couldn't be more.

Mei finally emerged from the Student Council office, looking as cold and rigid as I had ever seen her. "Why haven't you gone home?" she asked coolly.

"I want to talk to you. Somewhere private."

* * *

"Yuzu, I really don't think there's anything to talk about," Mei started as soon as I shut the empty office's door behind us. "Whatever this is between us... it was clearly a mistake, and I'm sorry. You have my complete blessing to engage in other relationships, and I think you should move on."

"Tell me one thing first," I said, trying not to let my heartbreak come through in my voice. "When you tasted me, what did you taste?"

Mei paused. "I tasted your Substance, obviously," she said haltingly, refusing to meet my eyes.

"And not my essence?"

"It doesn't matter. You have the right to find someone to make you happy."

I stepped closer to her, and lightly stroked her cheek. Mei was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, even when she was stricken, shaking, and trying not to show it. "You make me happy. Please... just tell me."

"I tasted... you." She shrugged helplessly, and for the first time since the trainwreck earlier that morning, she met my gaze. "Like the most delicious thing I've tasted in my life. Strawberries, and citrus, and the taste of a warm breeze after a long winter. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Yeah, actually," I said, and kissed her. Her eyes widened and for a split second she tried to pull away, but instead she wrapped her arms around me and I practically melted into her. "I love you, Mei," I said when the kiss finally broke. "I don't care about whether our bond is half or full. I'm yours. I'm not interested in anyone else."

"I think... that is foolish," Mei said softly, but she was clearly uncertain about it.

"I don't care. Do you want me? And my Essence?"

"More than anything," Mei whispered, and kissed me deeper.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so, so sorry.


End file.
